Finding Comfort in Loss & Gratitude Beyond Pain

The following program. This is a studios. Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Wife's Thoughts where we gather around the virtual campfire and discuss what's on my mind. Thank you so much for dropping by today. And if you want to listen to more episodes of White's Thoughts, all you gotta do is go to Wife's Thoughts dot com. Just make sure you spell my name right w y c E. Whys's thoughts dot com. And today on the program, we have a very special episode. There's been a couple of major events in my life that I want to talk to you about and want to share some of my thoughts on. So grab your favorite beverage, carve out a little time as you go throughout your day today, and pull up a comfortable spot around our virtual campfire for our sit down today on White's Thoughts. Let's get started on today's episode of the podcast. Hey everybody, welcome to a very special episode of Voice Thoughts. I'm Terry Weiss, and I'm very grateful that you're listening to the podcast today. It's not going to be the happiest episode, but it's an episode I felt that I had to do. It is July as of the taping of this podcast episode mid July, and it'll be posted here in our next scheduled episode drop date, which are Tuesdays. You know that Tuesdays at seven am Eastern Time in the United States. On today's episode of the podcast, I talked about in the opening, I had a couple of major life events happened that really have turned my world into a cacophony of mixed feelings. And what I mean by that is one was very positive and the other was just a very traumatic experience that came kind of out of the blue. So let's let's start with with the good. The good event. I talk about a lot on this on this podcast, my my health, feelings and challenges in my own life and try and relay some advice and put out some information for you all to consider and maybe use in your life. I had developed a hernia about a decade ago, a right siding guen ol hernia. You can look up what that is. But it had progressed over the years, and we were doing the wait and see with my doctor and it got to the point though where it started to grow and become uncomfortable and go down into the scrotum area. Without getting too graphic. So it was time to have it taking care of surgically. I was hoping not to have a surgery. I've never had a surgery in my life. Well, I digress. I had won when I was about four or five, I had plastic surgery on my lip because I had fallen and done something, but I didn't remember that. So other than that, no other type of surgical medical procedures in my life, as I you know, am in my late fifties. But it was time to have it done. So preparations were made, the surgeon was seen and the appropriate consultation consideration given and I had it done back on June the ninth of this year. I was very apprehensive about it. I was, you know, some would say scared. I guess scared would be a good word too, because I'd never you know, it was fairly unknown. But I always talk with you about, hey, put your trust in God or whatever, deity, the universe, whatever. And as I drew nearer and nearer, I felt more at ease. I had my family friends reassuring me, went through the experience of having the surgery, and I must say my surgical team was fantastic. The surgical center where I had it done. They were outstanding. It was a it was an out you know, an outpatient what they call an outpatient procedure here in the United States, which means you prepare for, you know, a couple of weeks beforehand, you go in, you have it done, they release you typically the same day as long as there's no issues, and then you spend the rest of your time recovering. I am now well pasted a month past that and excellent, excellent recovery. My surgeon when I went back for my follow up to get my staples out because they had to do an open procedure. It wasn't a lark like light prosopic, I believe the type pronounced that word where they can put the cameras in. Mine was a little bit more involved. But everything went well, the recovery, healing everything, very little to no pain. Did not have to take any kind of narcotics or opioids, although they did prescribe me some if I wanted to. But now just did it with tylan all and the advil, and you know for the first four or five days, and it's been phenomenal. I mean, I thank the Good Lord above and I continue to heal. And when I went back two weeks later to get the staples out that had closed the wound to help it heal, the surgeon said, wow, you are doing fantastic. I've been out walking, you know, followed their instructions to the tee and it's great looking back now. It's something I should have done a decade ago, because my quality of life is five hundred percent better. You know, I'm an avid walker and I love to walk and try and be healthy and lose some weight, et cetera. And this has really given me the confidence and the peace of mind. No, now I don't have to worry about those types of things. So thank you to my surgical team and all the nurses and doctors at the facility. It was fantastic. Now. That was back on June to ninth, and everything was great. On June the twenty ninth of this year, twenty twenty six, I had gone for my morning walk again, still recovering and feeling good. Had got up really early that morning, you know, I was up watching the sun come up here in the northeast. I was out on the road walking for a couple of a mile and a half. I would say, gentle walking, and it was a great day. It was beautiful outside, warm and comfortable, not humid. I felt really good about that. Monday came in, wound down, you know, had some water and everything, took a shower, shaved, and I was having my morning coffee. And then the call came. At about eight twenty am Eastern time here in the United States, I received a call from my sister that my mom had passed overnight, passed away in her sleep. And it just totally took me by surprise. Even though my mom was in her eighties or early eighties, and she was not in the best of health. Without telling too much information, however, it wasn't like those were concerns in our mind lately. I mean, she had been doing really good. She had come home with Dad for a visit from Florida. They had come up to the northeastern half of the United States, where I reside and the Purple Pit Studios reside and for where this program cometh back in May, you know, around Mother's Day. We had a nice visit, had a nice meal, laughed, shared memories, and I have seen my parents over the years since they moved down to Florida. You know, over the past fifteen years or so since they moved down there, we have seen them quite a bit, and I've talked with my mother almost almost on a daily basis, if not a daily basis, every two to three days. So this it just it caught me out a left field, as they say, the saying goes, and it really threw me for a loop. And when my sister, you know, when I answered the phone, I just knew the way the tone of my sister's voice when she said, Terry, I've got to tell you something. And I just I knew something happened to one of my parents or some or my niece or somebody, something not good had happened. You know, you get that feeling, you ever get that feeling before the news is ever broken. And I must say it, I was stunned. I you know, the disbelief and then the emotional numbness that followed. I just sat there. My wife came running out of the room because she heard the phone ring and heard my reaction, and we embraced and I cried, begged, you know, and then she went back into the room to give me some long time. She went back into her office, and I just sat there staring in disbelief, basically not aware of my surroundings for a good fifteen twenty minutes. But then something I guess you could say, something wonderful happened. Now, when me and my mom spoke all the time, she would always hang up and she would always say I love you, honey, you know you, honey, And I would always say I love you too, Mom. And I started hearing that in my mind just as plain as her saying it, I love you, honey, I'm fine, I love you, honey, I'm fine. And it just kept repeating over and over again in my mind for about fifteen minutes or so clear as day. I could hear her voice, the tone of it, the comfort in it, the happiness dare I say in it? And it helped, It really did. The other thing I took comfort and still take comfort in, as it's been now over a little over two weeks since my mom's passing, is that she passed gently in her sleep. She didn't suffer any type of medical emergency and a fortunate accent accidents, some tragedy where someone perpetuated violence on her or what have you. So I take comfort in that as well, And I say that to others when they ask, and I say, you know, I just think, thank God. I thank the Good Lord above that he was gracious enough to my mom. My mom was a Christian woman and believed that He, the Good Lord, took her peacefully in her sleep and was merciful. And I, you know, and I say, we should all be as blessed when our time comes, that the Good Lord or whatever you may believe in, that you pass peacefully in your sleep, not by some violent, painful thing. Because some of the health conditions my mom had down the road, if they would have kept progressing, would have been a painful end for her. And the other good thing that I take comfort in is I had talked to her the day before, and that whole weekend. I talked to her every day Friday, Saturday, in Sunday, and on Friday we had a long conversation, one of the longer conversations we've had in months, for almost an hour or so on the phone, and we laughed and talked about some things with my uncle and my aunt and her my grandparents that most of them have passed on on my mom's side of the family, and we laughed and had a great time and I'm just so grateful that she was my mother, and I'm so grateful that I had that kind of relationship with her, that we talked almost every day or every few days, and got to see each other quite a bit, and that she didn't suffer when she did pass You know, a lot of people have talked to me and said, you know, they've had parent or parents pass on, or siblings or children, and said, you know, Terry, think you know that is thank God that she didn't suffer and it was peaceful and she had a long life. You know, the things people say to comfort you, It's still hard. There's been many times in the past two weeks when something's happened, if funny stories come up, one of my kids done something, one of my grandkids are other member of the family, our Kat Benson does something and I would call her or send her a text or the photo of it or a picture and just tell her about it. And I've caught myself many times over the past couple of weeks reaching for my phone to call her, only to stop myself and realize that she's not on this plane of existence anymore. She is in a far, far better place with no pain, no suffering, no regrets, no sadness, no tears, but in eternal bliss. And I know that one day again, we will see each other again, as we will see all our loved ones. And I firmly believe that. And I'm not sure what you may believe. You may not believe at all. You might believe that once we blink out, that that's it. But I believe that there is a far, far better place that we go to for eternity, another plane of existence where we are with our loved ones, We are with the Lord forever in peace and eternal harmony and happiness. And you can look up research on this. Many people have had near death experiences or no people have had, or relatives who have had near death experience that have encountered those that have passed on quite a few years previously and ask them, and those people they state their spirit, their entity, their essence tells them they would not come back. They don't want to come back. And I've heard it said too that the ones that have passed on, they're not mourning, they're not grieving, they're not sad, they're happy. And the reason we're sad is because we can't just have that convenience of holding them, talking to them, being with them, interacting with them any longer on this plane. And there is truth in that. There definitely is truth in that. I've been wanting to do this podcast for quite a while after my mom's passing, and I was planning to do an update after my procedure to tell you how great I was feeling and how this is really made me refocus certain things in my life and what have you. And then, like I said, with Mom's passing, it just kind of threw a wrench into the spokes and up ended us. But she had a great life and it's almost like she was hanging on until she knew I was okay before she just the Good Lord decided to take her. But again, I know we'll all meet again someday. And the funny thing I've heard it said too that when our days end and we meet our loved ones in heaven, to them, no time has passed. It's like a blink of an eye and like, oh, you're here for us. It might be, and hopefully it will be decades after decades that we have life here on this planet and make the best of it and touch others and help others and comfort others and be of good cheer. I just know that I'm going to spend the rest of my days trying to be the best man that I can be, the best husband I can be, the best brother, I can be, the best son I can be. My father is still alive, although he's celebrated a birthday throughout this happening, he's turned eighty three. I you know, and you know, me and my wife had talked about it for my parents and even her parents as they gain in years, and say, typically the natural progression of things is with our parents gaining in years, that that call is going to come. We've talked about it for five, five or ten years, and I said, you know, we just got to prepare ourselves as best we can. It might come at any moment, and you do you try and prepare yourself mentally and realize that, hey, you know, we're all unborrowed time. As we enter our late seventies and mid late seventies and eighties and beyond, we're on what I call God's time. However, we can be called home at any moment. And I just again, now I look back at all the fond memories, the laughter, the joy, and I thank my mother for having me and doing her best in raising me, with my dad doing the best that they could. And we all have family issues. We fight, you know, I fought with my mom throughout the years, and we're harsh words, et cetera. And sometimes when someone passes, all that those of us that are left behind think about is all the harsh words and the well that's to me, that's an evil entity or the devil if you want to call it. Trying to put that and make you feel miserable. But my friends, think on the good times. Think on the love. Think on the memories of love, the happiness, the shared joy that you had, and the privilege that you had to know that person, sibling, that parent, that brother, that sister, that friend, that aunt, that uncle, that grandparent. Think on those things. And it's by thinking on those things and telling those stories and celebrating those things that we carry their essence forward with us until we meet again someday. If anyone is going through something similar, now, believe me, my heart is with you, My prayers are with you, and I hope that the Lord Jesus Christ and the heavenly Father above can find compassion and help you through a difficult time and provide comfort and joy, and know that again we have to go on and live our lives and this won't last forever. The pain won't last forever, the emptiness and sadness won't last forever, and eventually it's replaced with the smile and the love and the laughter that we will carry forward until we meet again. If this podcast has touched you in some way or helped you, won't you please leave us a positive rating and review and until next time, my friends, this is Terry Weiss. God bless and be well. Hey, thanks for listening to the program today. I truly appreciate each and every one of you out there. And remember to see a change in the world, you have to be the change in the world you want to see. It all starts with you, the person looking back at you in the mirror every morning. Remember to be kind to yourself, be kind to others. If you want to tweet at me on Twitter, it's at Terry Weiss. Stop by the website Weiss thoughts dot com. Just to make sure you spell my name right wyss thought dot com, and hey, leave us a positive rating and review on your favorite podcast provider won't you tell your friends, tell your family, tell your pets about White's thoughts, And I look forward to gathering yet again around the virtual campfire with you real soon. Take care,