Dancing with the Monster How Facing Your Fears Rewires Your Brain

Today, we are tackling a monster, a shadow that follows every single one of us, no matter how successful, confident, we're cool, we try to look on Instagram, Facebook, or x. We're talking about fear, specifically, how to face it, how to dismantle it, and why running away from it is actually making your life a whole lot harder. So grab your metaphorical courage shield, pull up a seat around a virtual campfire, because we're going deep this time on White's Thoughts. The following program is a Hurle Studios production. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the podcast. Welcome to White's Thoughts. I'm Terry Weiss, I'm your host, and I'm incredibly grateful to have your ears today, whether you're stuck in traffic, doing the dishes, or writing in your closet trying to avoid your family. Hey, no judgment here, Welcome. We're gonna talk about it, fear, that big dancing with the monster that we all do. How facing your fears rewires your brain on this episode of White's Thoughts. So grab your favorite beverage, pull up a seat around our virtual campfire, and let's get ready for another issue episode of Wife's Thoughts. Hey, everybody, Welcome back to the podcast. Welcome to Wisse Thoughts. I'm Terry Weiss and I am so glad you decided to spend some of your valuable time with me today. And as teased in the opener, we are going to talk about it the monster. We're all dancing with the monster. We're going to talk about fear on today's episode of White's Thoughts. But you know, before we do that, it's that time again. It's time for the wordsmith word of the episode. That's right, it's time for the wordsmith word of the episode, where we give you a word you may not be aware of and its meaning so you can sound smarter to your friends, co workers and family. Show everybody your big brain in this week's This episode's word smith word is recondite. Oh say that again. Recondite recondite r E c O N dite. It's an adjective. It means it has a couple of different meanings, but basically difficult or impossible for one of ordinary understanding or knowledge to comprehend. The second definition of it is of relating to or dealing with something little known or obscure, or another meaning it that recondite has is hidden from site concealed. Let's hear it in a few sentences. Take it away, oh computer generated voice. I've learned about the most recondite theories in my philosophy class. All right, how about another one. He's the kind of guy who will corner you at a party and start explaining some recondite detail about medieval farming. And last crossword puzzle today had some seriously recondite clues. I had to look up half the answers. All right, So that's the word recondite r E c DEI te. It's a Latin early seventeenth century. Now you can press your friends with your big brain. And it's all brought to you by the wordsmith. Word of the episode, brought to you by Purple Pit Studios, and of course all of us here at Wi's thoughts. Well, that's good. Let's jump into today's episode, shall we. There we go, We got our campfire going. All right, Let's start with a hard truth. Your brain is a bit of a pessimist, professionally speaking, it's wired for survival, not happiness. Now think about this. Thousands of years ago, our ancestors, if they heard a rustle in the bushes, the ones who assumed it was a fluffy bunny got eaten by a saber tooth tiger. The ones who assumed it was a horrific monster survived to pass on their genes. Congratulations, you are the descendant of a paranoid caveman. But there's a glitch in the matrix. We don't live in the savannah anymore. The russell in the bushes today isn't an apex predator. It's a non fectation on your phone. It's an email from your boss that says, do you have five minutes to chat? It's the idea of speaking in public, or quitting that soul crushing job to start your own business, or you know, going into the doctors for a procedure. You're amdiglia. That tiny almond shaped part of your brain responsible for the flight or fight response doesn't know the difference between a tiger and a public speaking gig. It treats them exactly the same. And I know many people have talked about stuff like this before, but what it does is it floods your body with cortisol and adrenaline. Your heart races and your brain screams run away. If you give that presentation, we'll literally die well, we all know better than that. But let me ask you, have you ever actually died from a bad PowerPoint presentation? I mean, come on, maybe from boredom, but not from delivering it. When we don't realize that our fear is just an outdated, evolutionary software update, we let it run the show. We avoid the hard conversations. We stay in the comfortable, mediocre zone. We let fear dictate our boundaries, building a cage of our anxieties and calling it safety. That's what can be really to be terrifying. Now, there's a concept in psychology called experimental avoidance. It's a fancy term for doing whatever it takes to avoid uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, or sensations when you feel afraid of something. Avoidance feels great in the short term. Let's say you're terrified of networking. You're invited to a mixer where you could meet potential clients. Your anxiety spikes. You decide, you know what, I'm tired. I'll just stay home and watch net flocks instead. The moment you make that decision, what happens. Total relief. Your anxiety drops to zero, Your brain goes good job, we avoided the danger. Let's do that next time. But here's the trap. Every time you avoid something you're afraid of, you validate the fear. Let me say that again. Every time that you avoid something you're afraid of, you validate the fear. You tell your brain you were right that mixture was dangerous, and the next time an opportunity comes up, the fear isn't smaller, it's bigger. Avoidance feels like relief, but avoidance feeds the monster. It makes your world smaller and smaller until you're trapped in a tiny box of your own making. I mean, you know, just to relate something to you here in a personal I remember a few years ago, I was terrified of launching this very podcast. I had the mic, I had the topics, I had the scripts. But for about three months I found excuses. The audio quality isn't perfect, the logo needs a tweak. The truth. I was terrified to be judged. I was scared someone would listen and say, who does Terry Wise think he is? But one day I realized something that changed my life. The pain of staying exactly where I was had become greater than the fear of moving forward. I realized that if I didn't press publish. I was choosing a guaranteed failure over a potential one as simple as that. So how do we exactly? Fai said, Well, we're going to talk about that in just a second. Heywoys, thoughts listeners, are you looking for a simple way to level up your focus and energy? Well, you know on this podcast, I talk a lot about health and vitality. That's why I'm excited to share some information about empower Plus. It's a functional superfood green powder from in Dear Life. It features powerful ingredients like lions main for cognition and broccoli microgreens for anti inflammatory support, and it's all in one scoop. Want to try it out? Well, right now, you can get fifteen percent off your entire order. That's right, fifteen percent off your whole order at a Dearer Life. Just visit a dear life dot com that's ed e r r A l y fe dot com. Use my special code Weiss Save that's w y c E s a ve e at the checkout that's Weiss Save for fifteen percent off at a Dear life dot com. Fuel your thoughts and save today. They told him to come out with his hands up, but instead, he shut off his mouth. You're listening to wife's thoughts. This has to be my favorite bumper music. I'll tell you, mister producer extraordinaire. I like it. I know we played a lot, he says. Why are you playing the same type of bumper music after a pause or a spot? I don't know. Just it feels good. It makes me feel good. It sounds good too, It really does. I don't know how you doing out there. Welcome back to the podcast. Welcome to WISAWS. I'm Terry Weis. Thank you so much for spending some of your valuable time with me today around the virtual campfire. I appreciate each and every one of you. And today on the program, we're talking about that big monster that we all have with us and we all carry around with us every day. We're talking about fear, and just before we took a little bit of a pause for the cause, we were talking about, you know, the pain of staying exactly where you are compared to the greater fear of moving forward in your life, and how fear can paralyze you, or how by using avoidance can actually you know, make things worse, because when you do that, you get that short term fix. You know, it's like that short term relief from something that maybe creating anxiety in that for you. But in essence, what you're doing is you're just you're just prolonging your suffering and making things worse down the road. So we wanted to talk how do we actually face it? You know, and I'm not here to give you some toxic positivity advice like, oh, just don't be scared. Fear is real, and you know what, it's freaking uncomfortable. Okay, I get it, I understand, but you don't have to be fearless to be brave. Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's the judgment that something else is more important than fear. Now, let's try this. Here's a simple three step framework I use called DARE, the Dare method d Are and no it's not from the nineties anti drug campaign. So let's start with d Step one. Define it vague. Fear is terrifying. Specific fear is manageable. Eat down exactly what you are afraid of. What's the absolute worst case scenario? If you ask for a raise and get denied, what happens you don't get evicted on the spot, you just stay at your current salary and you know where you stand. Tim Ferris calls this fear setting. Define the worst case, and usually if you find that, you can survive it. Step two or letter A from the Dare Method, acknowledge it. Stop fighting the feeling. When you feel that not in your stomach, don't try to push it down. Say to yourself, Okay, I'm feeling anxious right now. My heart is beating fast. It's just my body getting ready to do something important. Fun fact, Biologically the physical sensation of anxiety and excitement are almost identical. Let me say that again. Biologically, the physical sensation of any anxiety and excitement are almost identical. Your brain just labels them differently. So try telling yourself, I'm not terrified, I'm excited. See how that shifts your energy. Step three or letter R from the Dare method. Reduce the scale. You don't have to climb the whole mountain today. If you're afraid of writing a book, don't try to write a chapter. Write one paragraph. If you're afraid of the gym, just put on your sneakers and drive to the parking lot. Micro steps bypass the brain's alarm system. Step four or e of the dare method execute, do the thing, take action because action cures fear. Let me say that again. Do the thing and take action because action curers fear. Motivation doesn't precede action. Action creates motivation. The confidence you're waiting for, it's waiting for you on the other side of the thing you're avoiding. Yeah, that's simple, right, It's that simple. I mean that's the Deare method. D are, define it, acknowledge it, reduce the scale. Execute. So as we wrap up today's episode, I want to leave you with one final thought. On the other side of your fear is the person you want to become, the relationship you want, the career you want, the peace of mind you want. It's all on the other side of a few uncomfortable conversations and some temporary awkwardness. Yep, fear is a terrible boss, but it's a wonderful compass. It points directly at the places where you need to grow in your life. The next time you feel that resistance, that urge to run away, stop, breathe, and lean in. Thanks so much for tuning into Whyte's thoughts. If this episode resonated with you, we do me a favor, take a screenshot, share it on your stories or tag me at Terry Weiss. I'm available on x as well at Terry Weiss. Let me know what fear you are going to face this week, and don't forget hit that subscribe button and leave a review. It helps the show more than you know until next night. Until next time, my friends, keep thinking big, act brave, and remember the monster in the closet is never as scary as it looks in the docks. Take care everyone. Hey, thanks for listening to the program today. I truly appreciate each and every one of you out there, and remember to see a change in the world, you have to be the change in the world you want to see. It all starts with you, the person looking back at you in the mirror every morning. Remember to be kind to yourself, be kind to others. If you want to tweet at me on Twitter, it's at Terry Weiss. Stop by the website Weis's thoughts dot com just to make sure you spell my name right. Wysee Wiys's thoughts dot com and hey, leave us a positive rating and review on your favorite podcast provider. Won't you tell your friends, tell your family, tell your pets about wife's thoughts, and I look forward to gathering yet again around the virtual campfire with you real soon. Take care,