Tackling Fear

Why are we so afraid of everything? Why have we become a fear culture? Has fear infiltrated your life? Let's talk about it. It's time for a virtual campfire sit down with Terry Weiss. Welcome to Weiss's Thoughts. Hey everybody, welcome back, Welcome to the podcast. Welcome to Why's Thoughts. Yes, I am Terry Weiss and I am so glad that you've decided to join me for the podcast today. Just remember I do have a website Weis's Thoughts for the podcast just wysees the spelling of my last name wy Ce for Wy's Thoughts, and also have a voiceover website if you feel so inclined. If your organization or your website, or your podcast or your video or your YouTube channel needs work, just go to Terry Weiss dot I believe more than happy to discuss what I can do for you. Okay, and also that's right Facebook dot com, backslash Terry Weiss and also on YouTube channel. You can look for Weis's Thoughts on the YouTube channel and at Terry Weiss on YouTube as well. A couple YouTube channels for you to check out as well. And last, but certainly not least you can. People call it X. I know Elon changed the name of the company, but I still call it Twitter. You can tweet at me on Twitter at Terry Weiss. All right, so welcome, welcome, one and all to the program. Welcome to our virtual campfire sit down that I lovingly call Weiss's Thoughts because hey, it's about me. It's about my thoughts. It's about what's going on, what's happening in my world in yours as well. And we are ramping up here, we are getting ready to close out this year. Man. But before we do that, it's that time again, it's time for the word Smith Word of the episode. Ah, yes, that's right, it is. It's time for our word Smith word of the episode, and this week's word is obnubilate. Let's say that one again once again, our artificial woman announcer or a WA as I call her, go ahead one more time on this week's word Smith word obneublate, obneubilate, which is spelled oh b n U B I L A T E obnubilate, which is a U. It's an interesting word because it kind of ties in with today's topic of the podcast. The meaning of obnubilate, obnumlate. That's a there's a tongue twister for you. It is at its core meaning darken, dim or cover or as if with a cloud or obscure. All right, one more and one more time. Let's see let's use that. Let's use that in a sentence. Corey refused to allow the sudden downpour to obnubulate his good mood, or how about the car windows dark tint obnubulated any view of who was inside. And just to make sure we're all saying it right, So I'm gonna I'm gonna have our awa say it one more time for us, so we know that we're pronouncing this week's wordsmith word of the episode correctly, miss a w A obnubilate And there it is. There is our wordsmith word of the episode. Now you can go impress your friends, and press your neighbors and press your family with your big brain and how wonderfully smart we all are. Right Yay, So there we go. So now let's get into the meat and the potatoes of the episode of this week's podcast here on wife's thoughts, shall we so, as promised in the opener there that we talked about a little bit. We're going to talk about fear this time on wife's thoughts, and I think it's a relatively timely topic because of the simple fact of, let's face it, folks, we're living in what is perceived to be by many many and and I am not excluding myself from this conversation as well, we are living in what is perceived by many to be very fearful times. You know a little bit of Mike noise. I apologize if you do hear that in the post production had to adjust the mic. We are living in what is perceived as fearful times from the simple fact of the simple fact of that. Right now, we've got what two wars going on in the world. For those of you keeping up on current events, two wars are happening in the world, the latest being the Israel Himas war and no matter what, and I'm not here to talk about political things and take political sides or anything. That's up to each individual person. You have your own opinions. I have my own opinions, and hey, that's cool. But we've got that. You've got the Russia Ukraine war that's been going on for over over a year now, mind you. And there's stuff going on. And where is it Panama, I think, or somewhere down there. I mean stuff springing up all over the place. There's stuff springing up all over the place. Now, not only that, you know, here in the United States, it seems like crime has coming in waves and ebbs and tides. But that being said, it seems like the fear industry, the beer industry is alive and well, not only here in the United States of America, but maybe where you're listening to the podcast as well, maybe where you're listening from. I should say and think about this, if you just turn on turn on your local news, browse the internet. There's an old expression fear sells. I am in my younger years. I took up broadcasting as a career throughout the end of high school and going into and I went to college for it, and I worked in the medium for a while. I have relayed this on past programs and one of the things that we found, and I found, and many of my colleagues at the time during the day had found, is that fear. Fear definitely sold And there was an old expression, and I don't know if it holds true today. I mean, it may be the same moniker today, but if it leads, it bleeds. In broadcast communications. Now, that was for like the news and things like that. You're not gonna hear, you know, graphic Well you shouldn't anyway, hear graphic stories on your local pop you know, top forty country or top forty contemporary adult radio station. You know, the announcer's not going to come out and go, hey, good morning, and seventeen just remember bodies coming up in the news and by the way, you know, a man was run over by an elk driving a tractor. You know, typically you're not gonna hear that. You'll hear them just introducing songs and making lighthearted banter. However, however, when you get into the news and the news cycle and things of that nature, there's a lot of fear being pushed out there still still to this day, and this is going on thirty to forty years after you know, yours truly was embarking on his fledgling broadcasting career, and it really there's a lot going on with that. So let's unpack this a little bit, and let's unpack it in a way that relates to you and me. Here's some things I've done to attack the fear, the ongoing fear, and this is just being perpetuated by maybe media sources and what have you, an online channels and mediums in that. Here's the first thing and the easiest thing that you can do, and I have done it and it has helped turn it off. Don't watch it, don't get lured in. There's a lot of stuff called clickbait out there. You know what clickbait is. I know what clickbait is if you haven't heard. Clickbait is some horrific type of headline, some sensational headline that'll get you to click on the story. That way, the advertisers on the internet get to do their pop up ads to you and you know, show you all the ads on the web page or the beginning of the video or what have you. So fear is a common precursor to clickbait, so be aware of that. The sensationalism they you know, things of that nature, and something with an article that's gonna make you afraid usually will garner the most hits. It has been proven. The other thing you can do to help battle fear in your own circle of influence, if you've got people that you associate with, and this one might be kind of hard for some of us. It was for me at first, but now now it's just an ingrained habit that I just don't worry about anymore. Is if you hang around folks that are constantly talking about fearful stuff, Debbie Downers as they we used to call them Debbie Downers in my day. If you're hanging around a bunch of Debbie Downers or Donnie Donnie Downers, whatever you want to people that bring it down and always talk about fearful stuff, oh my god, Oh this is Oh this is terrible. That's terrible. Oh my god god. You know, try and change the subject first, you know, But then I think you need to step back and reevaluate those relationships and say, maybe just maybe one would need to start distancing themselves from those people and kind of excommunicate them from your life, because in the long run, you're gonna be better off, right, You're gonna be better off in the long run. So that's another That's another thing you can do, is just kind of start stepping back from people who constantly talk about fearful things and fearful feel fearful. I'll get that right, Fear fear, fear, fearful outcomes. You can do that now on a personal level, something like if you have fearful thoughts, I mean, let's look at let's let's think about this for a minute, shall we. How many people do you know? And you and I might even be you, no judgment here, but how many people do you know that are on anti anxiety medications, panic attack medications? Think about that for a second, really, honestly think about that. How many people are on these types of medications? I know people as young as seven and ten years old in my own family. Okay, a couple of my grandkids are on anti anxiety medications at seven and ten years old. Are you kidding me? I'm wondering, and I really deeply wonder because I don't get to make those medical decisions for my grandchildren. I offer my input politely to my children and say, listen, kids are going to get depressed, kids are going to be happy, kids are going to do all kinds of things. However, pumping them full of pharmaceuticals at this point is this the best thing? Is this really the best thing? So you got to consider, you know, things of this nature. So I just look around and I say, wow, you know, and again, please I understand, I get it. Sometimes medication is needed in certain situations. I'm just not wondering to myself, is some of this stuff over prescribed, especially to individuals that may not need it now. I took some for a while back in my younger days, but I was also in my mid twenties, all right, So you know, a little sharing here for you. That being said, though, however, I found that just some basic life hacks, if you want to call them that, life skills life hacks help me quite a bit. And I still do a lot of things, and I still have you know, I have my share of doubts and fears like every human being on the planet. So believe me, I'm not up here on a pedestal, as I say when I talk about certain topics with you. I'm not on a pedestal looking down in judgment. I'm in the thick of it with you. I'm just offering some insight and some basic points of conversation and maybe some tips based on what I've gone through and experiences I have had that may help you in the long run. It, you know, things that have helped me things that didn't help me. So maybe you can escape some of those pitfalls and trials, excuse me, and things that you know might work. So that's one thing you can do. The other thing, you know again, personally, stop reading the news, cut back, don't be a news junkie. I personal observation, personal observation. In this day and age, it does not pay to be a news junkie unless that your chosen profession, and you have to do it honestly. Step back away. You'll be a lot happier. Another thing, honestly that's worked for me. It's been now probably almost four months and counting that I have been off social media platforms on a personal level, and I'm talking about things like Facebook and that now professionally. Professionally, I am still on Twitter and there's professional page for myself on Facebook, but personally I just I don't follow, you know, family members and friends and things like that. And I made them aware that I was purging my social media personally just for the simple fact of and it wasn't really, it wasn't really when I stop and think about it, that family members or any friends that I had personally were really causing a stink. It was usually those acquaintances of them that would stick their nose into things and start flapping their gap and flapping their mouth for no reason. You know, people that would just barge in and give their unsolicited opinion about something that had nothing to do with in a conversation. And it was really it was starting to irritate me. I and so I just you know, through a suggestion of a mutual friend who stated, hey, I don't even do Facebook anymore and stuff like that or Twitter personally. I do my business stuff on it, you know, and that's it. And they informed people, and I said, I thought about it. I didn't make a knee jerk reaction. I've thought about it for a while and I said, you know what, what the hell why not? And I've done it, and honestly, I don't look back. I follow pages on Facebook. This is something you might want to do, you know. Now. I know people will say, well, you know, on social media there's people across the country and family members, and get yourself one of those what do they call them. You can get the cameras for Facebook where you can do video calls. You got FaceTime, you know, Android phones to have FaceTime for calls and keeping in touch. Okay, you can send pet pictures and emails and text messages. Nowadays you can also get the Alexa devices that have the cameras built into them in your house, you know, and things like that. You don't have to broadcast your information across social media or just get a private account and social media. You know, that's something I might do down the road and just keep it private for only friends only. The only problem you run into in this day and age with that is a lot of times your friends of your friends or friends of your relatives can hop on into a conversation. That's what I found. Now, if you know there's a setting to do that where they other people can't jump in on stuff, well then that's a good thing. Let me know anyway. But getting off social media was definitely an eye opener for me, and I must admit for the first couple of weeks I was like, hmm, but I don't miss it, folks, I don't miss it at all on a personal level. Mind you. Now, I still get I reiterate, I still do professional things on Twitter or x as it is known as now and Facebook. You know, I have a LinkedIn profile as well things like that. But it's all professional. There's no politics discussed. There's none because politics, I think, especially over the past decade, the politics and the social stuff surrounding politics is just, let's just face it. No matter what side you fall on or who you you know, it's a shit show. I mean, let's just be honest here, It's an absolute shit show. And I've got better things to do with my time than argue with people who might not agree with my political or social beliefs, or I might not agree with theirs. I'm not going to argue with them. I you know, life's too short. I ain't got time to waste spending hours a day and you know with keyboard warriors. So I'm like, you know what, I'm moving on. I've got other things I want to do, and I did. I broke away. That took some of the fear and angst and anxiety out of my life. It took a while, but boy, I don't miss it at all. And I still have friends and colleagues coming up to me and say, oh my god, I was fighting with this one on Twitter, or I was fighting with that one on Facebook, or I would you know, and I'd be like wow, oh wow, okay, I just I get to be the third party, disinterested observer and it is so oh, folks, I can't I can't tell you how beneficial it is just to step away from social media with their algorithms of you know, perpetuating fear and strife. What an eye opener, an absolute eye opener, it was. Now some other things you can do to help with fear in your life. Take and analyze what is it that's making you feel fearful and anxious? What is it? Try and again, I've mentioned this on other programs when we've gone through other life hacks. Get a piece of good old fashioned pen and pencil or pen or pencil and a piece of paper, write them down, or you know, get yourself a composition notebook or a notebook and write them down. I would suggest, and what I had done in the past and what I still do sometimes when I feel myself getting fearful and anxious about things? Five things? What are five things? First of all, what am I feeling right now? I'll grab that notebook and a pen or pencil, whatever's handy, And okay, why am I feeling fearful? What am I am? I afraid I'm not gonna have enough money for a retirement. Am I fearful of the weather that's going to happen? Am I fearful I might lose my job or I might not get a job, or what have you? Am I fearful that you know this person's not going to talk to me? Am I fearful that I said the wrong thing at the party or the business meeting or the social coffee gathering the other day. Write down, immediately, what are the top five things? And if you don't have five, that's okay, But just write some down, all right, and go from there. You'd be surprised. You would absolutely be surprised at that. What excuse me? That one little exercise? Okay, how that one little exercise could be so helpful? It's amazing. I was blown away. And I cannot take credit for it. I took it from someone else. I cannot take credit for it. But I started doing it. At first it felt a little awkward, But then after I had done it a couple of times when I needed to, and then I would look at those things. Then what you do is something called psychologists call it reframing. So let's just say you've yanked out your piece of paper and your pen and you wrote down that you were fearful that you said the wrong thing at the you know, at the lunch meeting with a friend the other day, because now all of a sudden, you texted them and they're not getting back to you as timely as they used to. Oh, we had a discussion about Johnny's soccer game and I said something about Johnny. Well, maybe soccer isn't his game or something like that. Whatever, Just say, well, maybe I said something I should have, maybe I overstep my boundary. Well, now you reframe that conversation. You reframe that thought about that conversation, you know what, just take the common sense points. Well, I've been friends with Mary for twenty years and we always give each other feedback and it's never caused a problem before. So you know what, maybe Mary's just busy. Maybe Mary's out shopping. Maybe Mary doesn't have her phone with her. Maybe Mary's phone is on silent, No big deal. Reframe it and just take a step back and think about it before you, oh, you know, start beating yourself up emotionally or getting fearful, or let's say you're fearful about maybe you won't get that promotion at work that you put in for, and you've been with the company for ten years, and you know, you just don't know if you're going to get it, and you're ruminating and you're fearful, Oh, if I don't get this promotion, you know, I don't know if we're going to be able to afford this vacation we want to go on and whatever. Again, reframe that fearful thought and sit back and think and say, well, you know what, what are the positives. I still got a job. I'm you know, I'm not in danger of getting fired. And maybe I won't get the promotion. Maybe I won't. Maybe there's someone more qualified, Maybe someone interviewed a tad better than I did. Maybe someone is the boss's buddy. You don't know. Maybe it's just not the right time for you to get that promotion. Maybe the company decided they're not even going to offer it to anybody. You don't know, But sit back and think and say, well, you know what I interviewed, I prepared, I brought my skill set to the table for the interview for the promotion that I put forward that I would like to have, And you know what, maybe that door won't open now, but maybe a better door will open down the road. Don't be fearful as long as you know you've done your best, and you don't beat yourself up mentally, and you've done the best. You know, you didn't go in there with a hangover, or you know, you didn't go in there, you know, with a terrible attitude, and you just were concise and to the point and did the best you could. That's all anyone can ask of anybody. So don't be fearful. Or what if you're fearful of gee, you know you Let's say you have children and you're like, well, what if my children don't get good grades, or what if my children, you know, don't get into college, or what have you? Again? Worrying about the future. Being fearful about the future, I think is something that is society and media instilled, especially especially over the past decade. And you know, again, being fearful of the future, it's okay. You know, it happens to the best of us. I have my moments too as well. But again, as long as you're doing the best you can. There's a lot of things in our life, ladies and gentlemen, there's a lot of things everybody that are out of our control. Start realizing that you know, and say to yourself, you know what, I am doing the best I can given the circumstances and the tools right now that are at my disposal. I'm doing all I can and I've prepared as best I can to be fearful. Okay. Fear has two acronyms that you can apply to it. Okay, face everything and run, face everything and run, or face everything and rise. And I think if you use the latter, do your best. Don't let fear control your life. Live the best life you can. That's all you gotta do. Hey, thanks for listening to the program today. I truly appreciate each and every one of you out there. And remember to see a change in the world, you have to be the change in the world you want to see. It all starts with you, the person looking back at you in the mirror every morning. Remember to be kind to yourself, be kind to others. If you want to tweet at me on Twitter, it's at Terry Weiss. Stop by the website Wis's Thoughts dot com just to make sure you spell my name right. Wysee Wis's thoughts dot com and hey, leave us a positive rating and review on your favorite podcast provider. Won't you tell your friends, tell your family, tell your pets about wife's thoughts? And I look forward to gathering yet again around the virtual campfire with you real soon. Take care,