The Lost Art of Listening Hearing Beyond the Noise

In a world full of noise, where everyone is waiting for their turn to speak, deep listening has become a superpower. Let's talk about it, this time on Weiss Thoughts. It's time for a virtual campfire sit-down with Terry Weiss. Welcome to Weiss Talks. Hey everybody, welcome back to the podcast. Welcome to Weiss Thoughts. I am Terry Weiss and I am so glad you decided to spend some of your valuable time with me today. And if you like the program, like what you hear, you're getting some value out of it. Won't you do me a favor? Leave us a positive rating and review on your favorite podcast provider and share us with your coworkers, family and friends. Tell your family, tell your pets about Weiss. Weiss thoughts. Let's get right into the program today, shall we? Let's gather around the virtual campfire. Now, we're going to talk about something very important. Listen for a moment as you listen to the crackling fire of our virtual campfire. I want you to really listen to the quiet crackle of the wood. and the calm of the evening air. Yeah. Right now, we're talking about a superpower that we all possess, but rarely use. The art of true, unhurried listening. In a world full of megaphones... shouting commentators and constant notifications. Think about something for a second. How often do we give someone our complete, undivided silence? Think about that. How often do we do that? You know, there's a problem. Listening to reply versus listening to understand. And I am very guilty of that. You might have heard the chair squeak in the background. Sorry about that if you did. But it's something I'm extremely guilty of. Listening to reply versus listening to understand. And that's something I'm continuing to work on. Have you ever been talking to someone and felt like they were just waiting for you to pause so they could jump in with their point? Or maybe you've caught yourself doing it. I have many, many times, and I still do. Rehearsing your reply in your head while the other person is still speaking. You know, we live in an age of expression. Everyone wants to speak, post, broadcast, and be heard. But when everyone is talking, nobody is listening. This lack of listening leaves us feeling isolated, even in crowded rooms. Misunderstandings multiply, arguments heat up, and genuine connection slips away. We trade deep understanding for quick reactions. How about offering the gift of presence? Let's try that shift, huh? Offering the gift of presence. When you gather around a real campfire in the dark, something magical happens. People lean in, voices drop. The crackle of the wood fills the pauses between words without any awkwardness. Well, here's how we bring that campfire listening back into our lives. I'm going to give you some things we can try. Number one, practice generous silence. Be generous with your silence. Practice it. When someone finishes speaking, count to two in your mind before responding. Give their words room to land. That brief silence shows respect and gives you time to digest what was actually said before you respond. Another thing we can practice is listening with your whole body. Put down the phone, turn off the TV, make eye contact. Not psychotic eye contact, okay, where you're just glaring at them. But make more eye contact. Show the other person through your posture that right now, nothing in the world is more important than understanding them. Number three, ask curiosity-driven questions. Instead of offering immediate advice or sharing a similar story about yourself, ask, what was that experience like for you? Or tell me more about that. Help them feel seen and heard. I mean, these are what I believe three really important things that we can actually practice. And these are things I try to do. And you know what? It's an ongoing thing because old habits are easy to fall back into. Just to recap them real quick again, practice generous silence. Be generous with your silence. Give that two second pause. Listen with your whole body. Put down the phone, turn off the TV, turn off the radio, whatever. Show the other person again that you're really there. You're in the present moment. That what they're talking about is the most important thing right now. What they're saying What they're expressing, what they're feeling, what they're conveying to you is important. Make them feel heard and seen. And number three, ask curiosity-driven questions. Tell me more about that or what was that experience like for you? Wow, how did that make you feel? These are very important things. And, you know, it's amazing, I think, just by doing this, if we all started doing it more and more, when you practice something, you get better at it, right? It's like anything. If you go out walking and you start at five minutes a day, 10, 15, 20, pretty soon you're up to an hour, two hours walking a day. You just don't dive in headfirst and all of a sudden you're an expert or a musical instrument. You practice a little each day and you gradually increase your time and your dedication and you get, it's just like second nature. Same thing with these three skills. Generous silence, listening with your whole body, and ask curiosity-driven questions. I think that will go a long way to resolving a lot of issues and things that may come up in our society today. I mean, let's face it, folks. This society is fast. It's snap, snap, snap, notification, notification, notification. Oh, you know, you hear the term FOMO, fear of missing out. And I'm guilty of this, too, at times, too. How many people, when you're out there, come on, you listen to me. The next statement I'm going to make, you're going to go, yeah, that's probably me. Yeah, I do that. Or you're going to shake your head and go, yep, that's me. First thing when you open your eyes in the morning, what are you doing? Reaching for your phone to check messages, emails, missed calls overnight. I've done it hundreds of times. I still do it at times. You're at your desk. Are you picking up that device, that phone every so often to check it? I know somebody saying, well, Terry, I have to do that for work. Well, I'm talking about for those of you that aren't needing that specific behavior. That you don't have to do that. Are you just instinctually grabbing that phone and checking? On your lunch hour, are you really interacting with people? Or are you on your phone playing games, social media, surfing the web? Remember when we all used to actually talk to each other and look at each other? I mean, me and the wife go out for dinner often, and one of the things that we've done, and we've made it a best practice, a habit, whatever you want to call it, we shut off our phones at dinner. We shut off our phones or put them on mute. And we talk and look at each other. And I'll tell you, folks, a lot of times I'm looking around that restaurant and people are sitting right across from each other with their heads bowed down, buried nose deep in their phones instead of talking to the person and giving that person across from them attention. And I'm talking about all ages. Elderly, adults, and children. This is happening more and more. I'm noticing it more and more over the past five years especially. You look in any restaurant, everybody's got their head down. I might see something on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram or TikTok. You're out having a nice meal, hopefully a decent meal in a nice restaurant. Enjoy the conversation, the interaction, the face-to-face. We as human beings need that. It's part of good mental health and well-being. It's important. To listen deeply to another human being is one of the highest forms of kindness we can offer. It says, you know what? Your voice matters. You belong. Try offering that gift to someone in your life. Listen without fixing, judging, or interpreting. Because it's very, very, very important. So I want to thank you at this point. And remember, if you want more episodes of Weiss Thoughts, go to WeissThoughts.com. You can also go to PurplePitStudios.com. And under the podcast section there, you can listen to other shows. And again, if you got something out of the episode, please will you share us with your friends and family and leave us a positive rating and review. Okay? Remember, If you enjoyed the episode, share it with someone you love spending quiet moments with. Until next time, listen closely, speak with care, keep your fire burning bright. Be well. Hey, thanks for listening to the program today. I truly appreciate each and every one of you out there. And remember, to see a change in the world, You have to be the change in the world you want to see. It all starts with you. The person looking back at you in the mirror every morning. Remember to be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. If you want to tweet at me on Twitter, it's at Terry Weiss. Stop by the website, WeissThoughts.com, just to make sure you spell my name right, W-Y-C-E, WeissThoughts.com. And hey, leave us a positive rating and review on your favorite podcast provider, won't you? Tell your friends, tell your family, tell your pets about Weiss Thoughts. And I look forward to gathering yet again around the virtual campfire with you real soon. Take care.