Make Emotion Your Ally

We all have it inside of us. And you know what I'm talking about, that little voice, that that inner dialogue that follows us every day, everywhere we go. There's no escaping it. Well, we're gonna talk about it this time on the podcast. We're going to talk about how to make emotions your ally. This time on Wi's Thoughts, it's time for a virtual campfire sit down with Terry Weiss. Will come to Weiss's Thoughts. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the podcast. Welcome to Wei's Thoughts. I'm Terry Weiss. I am so glad you've decided to spend some of your valuable time with me today. We're gonna make it worth your while. We got a great show for you today, So hang tight, hang loose. First, if you want to get in touch with me, it's Terry at Weiss Wyseewis's thoughts dot com. Just make sure you spell my name right. If you want to listen to more episodes of the podcast, just go towi's thoughts dot com. There you can listen to each and every episode of this podcast. You can make comments and tell your friends, okay, we appreciate it. Tell your friends, Share us with your friends. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell your pets about Weis's thoughts. All right, so let's get into it. Let's gather around our virtual campfire. Ah, God, that's stoked. Good. Grab your favorite beverage and pull up a seat, will you. So today on the podcast, we're going to talk about how to make emotion your ally. We're going to share some ideas and help us navigate through life. So settle in, grab your mug, let's go. Let's talk about that voice inside your head. Now we're gonna pull a lot of information from psychologist and author Ethan Cross, whose work moves us from just trying that silence that inner critic to actually making our emotions our ally. This is the core message of his latest book called Shift, which follows his groundbreaking work on chatter. So let's talk about it a little bit, shall we. Let's do that. So the problem with chatter is that it's we know, we have that running dialogue inside our head, right, It's the one that pops up when you're facing a challenge or whispering or sometimes even shouting things like you're not good enough, they're gonna fail, or why bother even trying well? Cross calls this internal noise chatter. It's our internal self talk. When it turns toxic though, that loop of negative, anxious, or ruminative thought, it can consume our attention and drag us down. Crosses internal and thoughts on this and initial research focused on why this chatter happens and how profoundly it shapes how we think, feel and act. It's more than just a bad mood. It's a mental state that can paralyze us and keep us from making good choices. Now here's where Cross's newer work and shift comes in, and this is the key takeaway for our campfire conversation, this time on Woye's thoughts, emotions, are you ready for this? This is going to blow your mind. Emotions are data. Yeah, I thought the same thing. I go, what are you nuts? But emotions are data. Think of that for a second. An emotion isn't a disaster you need to escape or something that you got to suppress. It's a signal. If you feel anxiety before a presentation, that's not a signal that you're weak. It's data that tells you the presentation is important to you, or maybe that you feel that you're gun prepared. Now, Cross's approach is incredibly pragmatic. He argues that the trick isn't to become emotionless, but to learn how to interpret these signals skillfully. That's the key. Then when we do this, our emotions stop being overwhelming problems and start becoming tools that can actually guide us toward better choices. We can harness what we feel and turn it into something instructive and useful. So how do we make that shift? Cross's research suggests it starts with small, deliberate practices in three main areas. And here they are. I'm going to give them to you right now. Number one language. This is the most fascinating one. Cross encourages a shift from the first person singular like I, to using you when addressing yourself. This one blew me away. It really did. For example, instead of thinking why am I so anxious about this? You ask why are you? And put your name in there, so I would be like, why are you terry anxious about this? This slight shift in language creates psychological distance, almost like you're giving advice to a friend, which is almost always easier and more objective than dealing with yourself. Number two attention, the zoom out. This involves zooming out to see the big picture. Don't get trapped in the immediate intense feeling. Look at the situation as a temporary event in the context of your whole life. Number three, environment, Be deliberate about the people and the spaces you choose. Our surroundings and social network have a huge impact on our mood and regulation. Think about that. If you're spending all day on if you're spending all day on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and TikTok, you're not really networking and socializing. In some aspects, you are, but that social network, that human contact, again has a huge impact on our mood and regulation, so so important. The beautiful part is that these are all the ways to regulate mood and behavior without without suppressing what you feel. You're not bottling it up, You're simply reframing it. Isn't that amazing? So the ultimate takeaway from Ethan Cross's research is that we can train our emotions. It has a three step process awareness first, reframing second and steady practice always and Crosses view the mastery of our emotions doesn't begin with trying to control them, but simply with curiosity. Ask why the signal is flashing, don't just try to smash the button. Thanks for gathering around our virtual campfire on this episode of Whyfe's Thoughts, and let's all try to be a little more curious about our internal data tomorrow and then you too, can make emotions your ally. Thanks so much for listening to the program today. We appreciate each and every one with you, and would you do us a favor if you enjoyed the podcast, would you share us with a friend, We would truly appreciate it. All right, until next time, my friends, thanks for joining us. Hey, thanks for listening to the program today. I truly appreciate each and every one of you out there. And remember to see a change in the world, you have to be the change in the world you want to see. It all starts with you, you the person looking back at you in the mirror every morning. Remember to be kind to yourself, be kind to others. If you want to tweet at me on Twitter, it's at Terry Weiss. Stop by the website Wis's Thoughts dot com. Just to make sure you spell my name right wys wyss thoughts dot com, and hey, leave us a positive rating and review on your favorite podcast. Provider. Won't you tell your friends, tell your family, tell your pets about White's thoughts, And I look forward to gathering yet again around the virtual campfire with you real soon. Take care, Pat,